What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
