1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
