shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
