Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
