I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
