Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
