So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
