my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
