I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
