i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
