I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
