...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
There r osticjed everywhere
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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