Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
