just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
