your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
