your thong is hanging out like whoa
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
