drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
