with your own penis?
sarcasm needs its own font
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
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