those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
