Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
