chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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