ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize