I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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