guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
