If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
