guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
