the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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