she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
