you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
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