We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
