When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
