New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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