There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
