He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
