Soap is not a condiment
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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