Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
