No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
