Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
i think my cat just said my name.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
