you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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