I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
