it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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