Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
