I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize