so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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