just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Randomize
