started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize