Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Randomize
