Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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