# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
