1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
