I want to make a zoo with you.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
