it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
