it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
