Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
