Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
