so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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