Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
