So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
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