weddingsv make me drug and hornr
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
