Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
