I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
