So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
i believe in u and ur pee
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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