well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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