the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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