Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
