You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
