well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
