too bad you live with your parents still
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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