Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize