The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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