I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
