I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Randomize