I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I'm bleeding and have questions
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
